i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
