just come out here and I will go home with you...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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