Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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