So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize