is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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