We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
