You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
