I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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