Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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