It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
