PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
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She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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