I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize