my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
im drinking this country out of the recession.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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