and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
