I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
