I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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