all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
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No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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