Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
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