She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Two words: nipple clamps
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