a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
