Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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