I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
