it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
