Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
