I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Houston, we have a squirter
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Naked Twister starts at high noon
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
