This is not my ceiling
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Randomize
