Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
