Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
