In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
