omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
