Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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