The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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