My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
