i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
