PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
