hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Your dad touched me again.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize
