I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
