from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
