I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
