I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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