You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
