i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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