we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Randomize
