Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wish my penis had a tongue
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
