u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
