soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
