So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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