yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
