omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
