I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
