My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
