I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
one might say we're banned from that church
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
