Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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