It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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