My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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