what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
