Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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