Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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