Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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