I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
