Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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