ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
