Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
