Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize