Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
