I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
