were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
