I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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