i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
